Cafeteria Food: What do you get when you have horrible cafeteria food that no one eats, and everybody ends up throwing it in the garbage? You have a big problem. At my school, everyday we have lunch that people can buy. The problem is our cafeteria food isn't very good. Many people order lunch and then just end up throwing it out. If we had better cafeteria food, the food would be in people's stomachs and not in the garbage. We have a serious problem about our schools lunch.
Everyday we have something new for lunch. Sometimes we have green hotdogs, or sometimes we have yucky pizza pasta bake. Our lunches all taste the same. Gross. Our chips taste stale. Our cheese pizza is like rubber. Our breadsticks are cold and look like they're frozen. Our mac' and cheese is crusty. Our mash potatoes and gravy are mush. Sound good?
My solution is that we should get a new lunch service. The lunches not only taste bad, but they also look bad. Once I found a hair in my grilled cheese. Very apetizing . Right? Wrong! My mom doesn't have time to make me lunch everyday. People ask why I don't make my own lunch. Well, because I don't have enough time either. Sometimes, if I have time the night before, I make my lunch. But, a lot of times I have to much homework and I have practice.
If we did get a new lunch service, almost everybody would take hot lunch. Nobody likes our hot lunch service right now, but if we got a new hot lunch service, everybody would like it. Even my 5 year-old sister complains about the lunches. I'd rather eat nothing than eat our lunches. You might not agree, but you probally haven't eaten our hot lunches before.
Once again, we need to get a new lunch service, because nobody wants to eat a moldy and cold lunch. But, if we don't, then everybody would eventually switch to cold lunch. I have.
Ideas 4 Nice job describing the problem; little discussion of the solution. Third paragraph has an undeveloped topic sentence.
Organization 5; Word Choice 5 excellent descriptions! Voice 5; Fluency 5; Conventions 4 Three misspellings and use of contractions
Total = 28 = A
Cafeteria Food:
What do you get when you have horrible cafeteria food that no one eats, and everybody ends up throwing it in the garbage? You have a big problem. At my school, everyday we have lunch that people can buy. The problem is our cafeteria food isn't very good. Many people order lunch and then just end up throwing it out. If we had better cafeteria food, the food would be in people's stomachs and not in the garbage. We have a serious problem about our schools lunch.
Everyday we have something new for lunch. Sometimes we have green hotdogs, or sometimes we have yucky pizza pasta bake. Our lunches all taste the same. Gross. Our chips taste stale. Our cheese pizza is like rubber. Our breadsticks are cold and look like they're frozen. Our mac' and cheese is crusty. Our mash potatoes and gravy are mush. Sound good?
My solution is that we should get a new lunch service. The lunches not only taste bad, but they also look bad. Once I found a hair in my grilled cheese. Very apetizing . Right? Wrong! My mom doesn't have time to make me lunch everyday. People ask why I don't make my own lunch. Well, because I don't have enough time either. Sometimes, if I have time the night before, I make my lunch. But, a lot of times I have to much homework and I have practice.
If we did get a new lunch service, almost everybody would take hot lunch. Nobody likes our hot lunch service right now, but if we got a new hot lunch service, everybody would like it. Even my 5 year-old sister complains about the lunches. I'd rather eat nothing than eat our lunches. You might not agree, but you probally haven't eaten our hot lunches before.
Once again, we need to get a new lunch service, because nobody wants to eat a moldy and cold lunch. But, if we don't, then everybody would eventually switch to cold lunch. I have.
Ideas 4 Nice job describing the problem; little discussion of the solution. Third paragraph has an undeveloped topic sentence.
Organization 5; Word Choice 5 excellent descriptions! Voice 5; Fluency 5; Conventions 4 Three misspellings and use of contractions
Total = 28 = A